Caregiving for Dementia: Navigating the Unwinding of Skills

When people talk about the younger generation, the conversation is always about the next stage of life. Whether it’s moving from school to university or starting a first job, it is a world of progression. Every step requires a new level of independence and a new set of skills.

In the world of dementia, you witness the opposite. You are watching a life unwind. It is a strange and emotionally draining shift.

My mom used to love games that required strategy. She could manage a full hand of cards, track other players, and plan several moves ahead. Eventually, I found an app so she could play on her own. For a while, she loved it. Then, she slowly lost interest.

I didn’t understand why at first. I would watch her play and get frustrated when she made a move that was obviously wrong. I tried to correct her, but I quickly realized that my ”help” only made things worse. She became confused and didn’t want to conflict with me. She eventually stopped playing because the game had become a source of pressure instead of joy.

It was a hard moment. We knew this was coming, but it’s one thing to know it and another to actually see it happen. You just have to accept it, whether you like it or not.

We’ve had to adapt. Now, we play “find the difference” puzzles. It turns out she is actually quicker at finding small details than I am. It is a reminder that while some skills fade, others remain. You lose some, but you keep some.

As a caregiver, you have to change your mentality. You learn to stop being a “teacher” or a “manager.” This is the unlearning part of caregiving. In a world focused on moving forward and hitting the next milestone, I’ve learned to treasure these simpler moments.

Success isn’t about building for the future; it’s about being together right now without any pressure.

How have you adapted the way you spend time together as your loved one’s skills begin to change? Drop a comment below and share your story!