The Shrinking Notebook
A few years back, my mom started keeping a notebook. She had never kept a diary before, but suddenly, she felt the need to write everything down.
In the beginning, she recorded major events of the day in clear, neat handwriting. It was organized. As time went on, that changed. She started writing down every single thing she saw.
She wrote about me walking into the kitchen or going to the bathroom. Back then, it was like she wanted to go everywhere I went, trying to trap every second on paper so she wouldn’t forget.
I used to joke about it. “You don’t need to write a biography for me,” I’d say. She didn’t mind; she just seemed determined to record every detail.
But eventually, the writing started to shrink. her handwriting isn’t as neat as it used to be. It looks messy now, like she’s in a rush to get the words down before they slip away. Sometimes she even forgets how to write certain characters and asks for help.
We have to prompt her to record the basics: blood pressure, medications, meals and TV programs. Now, even that’s fading.
If you look at her note today, every page looks the same. She writes the day of the week, but not the date anymore. Below that, it’s just the loop: Morning meds. Afternoon vitamins. Blood pressure. She doesn’t mention her meals or her favourite shows anymore.
It’s discouraging to see her going backwards. In hindsight, I realize that when she first picked up that notebook, she probably knew something was wrong. We just didn’t catch it back then.
I sometimes wonder if things would be different if we had noticed earlier. It’s a heavy thought to carry, but I’ve realized the notebook isn’t just for her memory anymore. It’s a map for me to see exactly where we are in this journey.
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Looking back now, what was the first habit or hobby you noticed starting to “unwind” or become simpler? Drop a comment below and share with us!