Managing Dementia and Senior Habits in a Heatwave

An intense heatwave hit us this week, pushing temperatures to 35°C outside and 26°C inside. I kept the windows and curtains closed to trap the cooler air.

Yet on the couch, my mom sat watching TV in her heavy polyester winter jacket. She looked on the verge of heat exhaustion, but insisted she wasn’t hot. She wears it simply because it is what she has always worn.

At night, I opened the windows to cool the house. The moment she saw the glass slide open, she anticipated the cold, reacting entirely to the visual cue rather than the actual air.

I moved her heavy duvet so she wouldn’t overheat. The second I left the room, she pulled it right back up. I returned to find her sweating. I told her no, repeatedly, but she did it again.

I lost my temper. I was angry logic wasn’t working, then immediately upset with myself. She didn’t say anything back, staying silent as if she knew I was upset. She didn’t mean to do it; it was just an incident to learn from. Ultimately, I had to remove the duvet.

The contradiction repeated itself after the heatwave passed. When the evening turned cooler, she saw me close the window and complained the room would be stuffy. Her brain was just reacting to what she saw me do. I opened a small gap for a while to satisfy her visual anxiety, but closed it for her health.

On top of the weather, she has a heavy cough with phlegm. We didn’t sleep well. Every time she rasped, I was up to pat her back and reach for the tissues.

This is the mental weight of taking over. It is the exhausting reality of trying to decode the difference between what they want and what they actually need to stay safe.

I cannot use logic, and the friction breaks my patience sometimes. But I stay awake in those quiet hours, looking after the person who used to look after me.

Have you ever struggled with a parent’s habit that completely clashed with what they needed to stay safe? Drop a comment below and share your experience!