Making Your Parent the "Host"

With the caregiver hired and your parent on board with the extra help, it's time to move from the interview to the routine.

The first few shifts set the tone.
To help the caregiver settle in with my mom, I put together a one-page Home Guide.

This isn’t a medical document.
It’s a list of routines, emergency contacts, and food preferences.

Knowing what they love—and what they avoid—is vital.
It lets the caregiver focus on the person instead of hunting through cupboards.

It makes their job easier and makes the senior feel heard from day one.

I stayed for the first shift or two.
It’s the best way to see if they naturally click or if your parent seems tense.

You can catch small misunderstandings before they become habits.

More importantly, it shows my mom she isn’t being deserted.
It eases her into the change. It makes the transition feel like a team effort rather than a hand-off.

While you are there, you can show the little things the guide misses.
We pointed out where the pots are kept and the notepad for my mom’s online exercises and games.

During orientation, ask your parent to show the caregiver where things are.
Maybe it’s where the good plates are kept or how the plants are watered.

This completely changes the energy of the room.
It keeps the senior in the role of the Host rather than someone just receiving a service.

It helps the caregiver see them as the one who knows the home best.
It builds respect from the very first hour.

How did you ensure your parent remained the one in charge during those first few shifts? Drop your comments below!

Up Next: The Secret to Keeping a Great Caregiver (Part 4) — Caregiver retention: Building a lasting relationship.
Coming Wednesday. Join the newsletter.

Catch up on the full series:
Know Your Help — Finding and Keeping the Right Caregiver